You Are My Woman
by Shadrac
Summary: Harry can't sleep and thinks about his wife while trying to figure out the cause of his insomnia


You are my woman is by Kenny Rankin and is one of my all time favorite songs. I was listening to it when this story idea popped into my head.

As always, reviews are welcome and appreciated.

**You Are My Woman**

_You are my woman_

_You are mine_

Harry was sitting on the window seat in his bedroom looking out the window. It was very early. The morning light was just starting to make its first appearance on the horizon. He'd only gotten a few hours sleep when he'd awoken abruptly and had been unable to get back to sleep. Not wanting to wake his wife up, he carefully got out of bed and for the last few hours had sat quietly trying to figure out why he couldn't sleep.

Insomnia was nothing new to him. He'd spent many sleepless nights in his life. They usually happened when he was worried or nervous about something he either knew or was afraid might happen in the near future. Sometimes it was something silly like a quidditch match but all too often it was one in a seemingly never ending series of showdowns with a madman intent on his destruction. He was often justified in his fears and paid for it with nightmares later. Given a choice, he preferred the insomnia. At least it was peaceful for him and those around him. He hadn't had to live with either for years and he hoped the return of one didn't mean the other would return as well. He didn't want to be reminded of something he'd put behind him long ago and certainly didn't need a new tragedy to dream about.

Ironically, the night before his wedding wasn't one of those times. He'd expected to be nervous after being told that everyone gets pre-wedding jitters but he hadn't been. Not that he didn't have trouble sleeping, he did but it was due to excitement not nerves. He'd never had the slightest doubt in his mind that he was making the right decision. In fact he'd never been surer of anything. She was the only one for him. He still felt that way. He turned away from the window and glanced at his sleeping wife as memories of her flooded his mind.

_Will you fall for me now_

_My favorite wine_

"You're a great wizard Harry," she'd told him as she hugged him in fear before they went their separate ways; Her to get Dumbledore, him to face Snape and possibly Voldemort, or so he'd thought.

"I'm not as good as you," he'd responded. He'd felt embarrassed at her display of affection but for the life of him couldn't remember why.

"Me?" she responded incredulously. "Books, cleverness, there are more important things like friendship and bravery and… oh Harry be careful!"

Years later, he found out she was going to say love but lost her nerve at the last second. A few more words of encouragement passed between them before they'd parted. He'd watched her go first then drank his own potion. As he turned toward the black flame he'd suddenly felt a shiver go through his body that had nothing to do with the fact that his potion, like hers, had felt like pure ice in his throat. It was where her body had touched his that had truly felt cold. Looking back on it, he now understood why he was embarrassed. It was the first time he'd ever been hugged or touched with any affection in his life. He had no idea how he was supposed to react but was sure that what he'd wanted to do wasn't it. He'd wanted to hold on to her and never let her go.

It wasn't because he craved affection in general because it was hard to crave something you'd never had. No, he realized that even back then; it was her touch that he craved. Whether it was grasping his hand encouragingly, the comforting weight of her hand on his shoulder as she got his attention, their shoulders brushing while doing homework or that hug, her touch let him know that someone cared about him and didn't think he was a worthless freak. His biggest fear that first year was that one day she wouldn't want to touch him anymore and that no one ever would again unless it was in anger.

_There were times that were not too good._

_Lonely days…_

He remembered sitting in the common room second year. Professor McGonagall had just informed the house of the new rules being imposed due to yet another attack by the Heir of Slytherin that left two more students petrified. He'd hardly paid attention to the announcement and really couldn't say what they were nor did he care. His mind was in the hospital wing with one of the newest victims. The image of her lying in the hospital bed stiff like she had been carved out of stone was stuck in his head and he couldn't get it out.

He knew when the mandrakes were ready, she'd be cured but, unless he found a way to stop the attacks, she could end up petrified again or worse. He couldn't bear to think about that because it meant that she wouldn't just be temporarily frozen but would be permanently gone from his life. He felt a pain in his chest that hurt more than his scar ever had at that thought. She was important to him perhaps more important to him than anyone else. He had to find a way to make sure she was safe because he needed her. Not because of the help she gave him with his homework or solving the mysteries he kept getting himself involved in but because she was truly his best friend.

It was no surprise to him later on when, despite being petrified, she'd still managed to give him the answers he needed. When she entered the great hall after being cured he'd pulled her into a tight hug. He was so happy to have her back he couldn't help himself. He'd been so lonely without her and hoped nothing would ever take her away again.

…_Bad feelings_

"What did you go running to McGonagall for?" Ron had yelled at her after the professor had confiscated Harry's firebolt.

She'd glanced apologetically at him before meeting Ron's glare defiantly.

"Because I thought – and Professor McGonagall agrees with me – that that broom was probably sent to Harry by Sirius Black!" she'd responded.

He knew she'd done it because she cared about him but he was still angry at her for going behind his back. They didn't speak for a long time. It was the first and only time since the troll incident in first year that they weren't practically connected at the hips. It was a conversation with Hagrid that finally clued him in to how badly she was taking their split. He tried to make things right between them and felt horribly guilty when he saw how bad she looked. She'd thrown herself into her school work and had not taken proper care of herself. He vowed then and there to never let something silly like a broomstick to ever come between them again.

_But you told me what you could._

_Set my heart a reeling_

"Well, of course I knew you hadn't entered yourself," she'd said when he told her what happened after his name came out of that blasted goblet. It was an immense relief hearing her say that. Not just because she was the only one who did but because she was the one whose opinion mattered most to him. It did his heart good to know she believed him. The help she gave him throughout the tournament was invaluable and he knew he never would have made it through it without her. It irked him when he found Ron waiting for him at the bottom of the lake as what he'll sorely miss while she was put there for Krum. He had long since come to the realization that she was and always would be what he would miss most no matter what or who else he might lose including Ron.

_You are my rainbow_

_Up in the sky_

He still remembered how beautiful she looked when she walked into the ball on Krum's arm. Her periwinkle-blue robes fit her perfectly, her hair was up in an elegant bun and on her face was a soft smile that belied her nervousness. Simply put, she was stunning and he hated that she was on Krum's arm instead of his. In fact, in that moment, he simply hated Krum and kept hoping something horrible would happen to him so he could take the Bulgarians place as her date. He'd simply not thought to ask her until it was too late and still regretted it to this day.

_And all the colors that you are_

_They make me cry_

He watched the purple flame pass right across her chest and felt his breath catch in his throat as she gave a tiny "oh!" before crumpling to the ground looking lifeless. He'd screamed her name before falling to his knees beside her.

'Don't let her be dead, don't let her be dead, it's my fault if she's dead' he'd thought to himself unable to look at her because he was too afraid it would confirm his worst fears. It wasn't until Neville confirmed that she had a pulse that he was able to breathe again. When he looked down he first saw her bushy brown hair splayed out on the ground then the pale skin of her face. He'd have given anything to have been able to look into her brown eyes at that moment but they were closed. He then looked down at her chest and saw blood soaking her clothes and felt a fresh surge of fear as he was unsure if it was her blood or if it had come from Neville's broken nose. He tried to wake her without success before leaning in close to her ear and whispering "please don't leave me." They quickly formulated a plan to get her out of there and get help then Neville carried her while he fought deatheaters to protect them all until help arrived. Later, in the hospital wing, he tried to apologize for getting her hurt and would understand if she hated him but she would have none of it. She told him flatly that she had been by his side since he'd jumped on a troll to save her and had no intention of ever being anywhere else.

_I am back from the river_

_And I believe we can make it through_

He'd survived a watery death at the hands of inferi only to find himself at the bottom of the astronomy tower standing over Dumbledore's body. He'd been murdered by Snape or so he'd thought at the time. He'd chased the professor through the castle and out onto the grounds only to be beaten badly in a duel. He'd seen several bodies during the chase but was more worried about who he hadn't seen. He hadn't seen her fighting deatheaters and knew she wouldn't have run and abandoned the others to their fate. No, there was another reason she wasn't fighting and he was afraid it was because one of the bodies he'd seen had been hers. He felt a hand enclose his and hoped it was hers but it was only Ginny and his fear only grew as she led him to the hospital wing. When he walked through the door and saw her, not just alive but unharmed, the fear was instantly replaced with relief. She ran towards him as soon as she saw him and he met her halfway pulling her into a tight hug. Twice now he'd battled deatheaters, twice now they both survived relatively intact. He suddenly had hope that the war could be won and that she'd still be with him afterwards.

_Happiness is the feeling_

_It's the gift of you_

As he'd stood under a beech tree looking out at the lake he'd never felt so lonely as he contemplated the task ahead of him of having to find and destroy the remaining horcruxes and finish this war once and for all in the wake of Dumbledore's death. A journey he fully expected and intended to take alone. As much as he wanted her with him he couldn't ask. He knew she'd go with him if he asked but he felt that was being selfish. She'd faced enough danger because of him he couldn't ask her to face more just so he wouldn't be lonely. If she wanted to bow out and stay out of harm's way he would understand but that wasn't a choice he had. He was brought out of his musing by her and Ron's arrival. When he told them his plans they promptly said they were going with him. He protested insisting he would be going alone. They argued back and forth for a few minutes until she said something he couldn't argue with.

"You said to us before," she said quietly, "that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We've had time haven't we?"

He'd reluctantly agreed to let them come with him but inside he was jumping for joy that he wouldn't have to say goodbye to her for who knows how long while he found the keys to stop a madman once and for all. He only hoped he could keep her safe.

_There will be changes_

_More than it seems_

"I get it. You choose him." Ron had said to her before leaving the tent.

"Ron, no – please – come back, come back!" She'd yelled then ran out of the tent after him. She came back and told him that Ron had left them then threw herself into a chair and started crying. He'd felt numb in that moment and didn't comfort her like he should have. Instead, he just threw some blankets over her and went to bed. Yet again she'd stood by him and he'd left her alone to cry. It was several days before any semblance of normalcy returned between them. He tried to apologize several times but could never get the words out. He figured it was only a matter of time until he'd wake up to find her gone as well. If she did leave, he knew it would be his own fault. They were getting nowhere on their search and he'd failed to be there when he should have been. He vowed to himself to never let her down again.

_Some will be good to us…_

'Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.' He remembered reading those words on the grave stone that marked Dumbledore's Mother and sister's graves. At the time he had no idea what they meant but now he had an idea. Your greatest and only true treasure is the people you give your heart to. He'd first read those words on a cold Christmas eve night he'd spent in Godric's hollow where he visited his parents graves for the first time. She'd gone with him and comforted him when his emotions overwhelmed him as he looked at his parents' names on the white marble headstone that marked their graves. She'd gripped his hand while he was on his knees then let him pull her into his arms once he stood up and hold on to her as they left the cemetery. It was then that he realized that she was his true treasure and gave her his heart. He was out in the wilderness and she alone had decided to stay with him. Ron had left him and no one else had followed him. He decided then and there that he would stay with her forever if she would have him.

…_Some will be mean_

"Nooooooooo!" She'd screamed her voice full of grief and anguish.

He knew she stood outside the doors of the school looking at his supposedly dead body. It had taken all of his self control to not immediately jump up and rush to her side but he couldn't let Voldemort know he was still alive just yet. He was grateful when Neville gave him his chance by killing Nagini. He immediately threw his invisibility cloak on and went after his parents murderer to finish him and to let her know he wasn't dead.

They weren't far apart when he found them. Voldemort was fighting Kingsley and two of the professors. Not far from that battle she was fighting Bellatrix along with Ginny and Luna. Their attacks were feeble but she was matching Voldemort's top deatheater blow for blow and showed no signs of tiring while Bellatrix seemed to be wearing out quickly. By the look on her face he knew she was out for blood and was planning to make the enemy pay for taking him from her. When she deflected a curse that missed Ginny by inches, she was suddenly pushed aside by Molly Weasley as she screamed at the death eater and took up the fight herself. Bellatrix was finally defeated as fatigue caused her to miss a block. He then revealed himself and briefly locked eyes with her and saw her relief that he was ok.

After he'd defeated riddle, she was the first one to him. He'd held her close and kept her near him despite the throng of people trying to maul him in celebration. He'd stammered out countless thank you's in response to congratulations but hardly paid attention to who he was talking to because he was completely focused on her. They'd done it. The world was finally free of Lord Voldemort. There were no more horcruxes to find and no more battles to be fought. They'd won. They were safe and could finally go on with their lives. If he had his way, they would never be separated again.

_Of all the people that are in this world_

_We can be together_

Once the war was over, she'd decided to go back to Hogwarts to complete her seventh year while he and Ron had accepted Kingsley's offer to become aurors. He visited her whenever he could and never missed a Hogsmead weekend so he could spend time with her away from the school. He'd take her to one of the nicer restaurants in the village for dinner and buy her as many presents as she would let him get for her. They'd spent many days reminiscing about old times while eating lunch at The Three Broomsticks or drinking butterbeers at The Hogshead. He'd loved those times. It wasn't because it reminded him of the few care free moments he'd had in his youth but because he was with her. He loved being an auror but missed seeing her every day and couldn't wait for the school year to end.

On the last Hogsmead weekend of the year he decided it was time to let her know just what she meant to him. They spent a wonderful day together then he walked her back to school. Instead of walking her to the door, he led her to the lake to her favorite spot and stopped under the beech tree. As she looked out over the lake admiring the sunset, he took hold of her hand and went down on one knee and asked her to marry him. She squeeled with joy before shouting yes so loudly that he had to cover his ears then pulled him back to his feet and into her arms where she promptly kissed him senseless. The joy he'd felt inside at her answer was indescribable. She'd agreed to be his forever. He'd never felt so lucky and swore he would never do anything to make her regret her decision.

_Hear my dreams love it will come true_

_Be my woman forever_

It was a beautiful summer day when they got married. The sun was shining but a cool breeze blew softly during the ceremony. The altar was in the shade of a large tree that extended far enough that most of the guest had some protection from the hot sun as well. Ron and Neville had seemed far more nervous than he was. His only fear was that his bride to be might come to her senses and realize that he wasn't nearly good enough for her and back out. His concerns were forever put to rest when the wedding march started and she appeared on her father's arm. There aren't words to describe the personification of beauty that made her way down the aisle and after receiving a kiss from her father, took his hand and pledged her life to him. He'd choked up several times while saying his vows as he felt his control over his emotions slip. He'd never felt such complete and utter love as he did at that moment for the woman beside him. As he reached the end of his vows, he knew there was nothing he wanted more than to say 'I do' and spend the rest of his life proving it.

_You are my woman_

_You are mine_

Twelve years had gone by since then and he'd never regretted a single day he'd spent with her. Again he was amazed that, even asleep, she'd managed to help him find the answers he was looking for. While watching her sleep, he'd finally realized why he couldn't. It was September 1st. In a few hours, they would be sending their oldest off to Hogwarts. It wasn't because he was worried about being late to the train because she'd seen to it that the soon to be student was packed and ready to go. There would be no coming back to the house if he forgot anything either. He would just have to wait for her to send it to him. He was awake because he was already feeling the separation and loss that he knew was coming when he watched the train pull away later. From then on, his son would spend more time away from them then with them until he would be gone altogether as he started his own family. Knowing that in the next few years his other children would follow only added to his misery. He was afraid that they would come to love Hogwarts like he did and come to think of it as home instead his house and never want to come back. That they would find the world at large far more interesting than spending time with their father ever was and never want to see him again. He wasn't done being a father yet but that time was coming to an end and there was nothing he could do about it.

"You'll always be his father," she said sleepily like she'd read his mind. "Besides, he'll be back in a few months for the holidays."

He met her eyes and smiled which she returned.

"How'd you know what I was thinking?" he asked her.

Her hair was messy, there was sleep in her eyes and an impression of the pillow on her face but to him she was perfect.

"You're an open book to me Harry," she said more awake now. "You're his hero and not like you are to the rest of the world. He doesn't know anything about the war or the madman that caused it. He just knows his dad who's played with him every day, taught him to fly a broom and took him to the quidditch world cup. You're a great father and Hogwarts will never complete with that now come to bed we've got a big day ahead of us and you need your rest."

She patted the bed beside her and, before he knew what he was doing, he left the window and headed to his side of the bed. He got in and she immediately turned over and cuddled into him. He held her close reveling in the feel of her in his arms once again feeling like the luckiest man alive to be with her.

"I love you Hermione," he whispered softly in case she was asleep again.

"I love you too Harry," she responded then rose up just enough to give him a kiss before settling back down. "Now go to sleep."

He laid there listening to her breathing until he was sure she was peacefully slumbering again before allowing sleep to take him as well. He dreamed of adventures and discoveries, laughter and tears, battles and ultimate victory and a girl with chocolates eyes the saw him like no other and bushy brown hair that smelled faintly of vanilla.

_You are mine_

The end


End file.
